5 Pregnancy Red Flags Every Partner Should Know

A sudden severe headache — especially one that feels different from any headache she's had before — combined with vision changes (blurry vision, seeing spots or flashes, temporary loss of vision) is the hallmark warning sign of preeclampsia, a potentially life-threatening pregnancy complication.

Preeclampsia affects 5-8% of pregnancies and involves dangerously high blood pressure that can damage the liver, kidneys, and brain. It typically develops after 20 weeks and can escalate rapidly. Other signs include sudden swelling in the face and hands (not just the normal ankle swelling of pregnancy), upper abdominal pain (especially under the right ribs — this indicates liver involvement), nausea or vomiting that appears suddenly in later pregnancy, and sudden weight gain from fluid retention.

Why partners need to know this: preeclampsia can progress to eclampsia (seizures) or HELLP syndrome (a life-threatening liver and blood clotting disorder) within hours. The pregnant person may downplay symptoms because headaches and swelling are "normal" in pregnancy. If she describes the worst headache of her life, can't see properly, or has pain under her ribs — don't wait for a callback from the doctor's office. Go to the ER. Preeclampsia is the second leading cause of maternal death worldwide, and early intervention saves lives.

Any heavy vaginal bleeding during pregnancy is an emergency. While light spotting can be normal (especially in the first trimester), heavy bleeding — defined as soaking through a pad in an hour or less — requires immediate medical evaluation at any stage of pregnancy.

In the first trimester, heavy bleeding may indicate a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy (a fertilized egg implanted outside the uterus, which can be life-threatening if it ruptures). In the second and third trimesters, heavy bleeding may signal placenta previa (the placenta covering the cervix) or placental abruption (the placenta detaching from the uterine wall), both of which threaten the life of both the mother and baby.

What partners should do: don't wait to see if it stops. Have her lie on her left side, note the time the bleeding started and how quickly she's soaking through pads, save any tissue or clots that pass (in a clean container — the hospital may need to examine them), and get to the ER. If she's dizzy, pale, or has a rapid heartbeat, call 911.

Do not give aspirin or ibuprofen for any associated pain — acetaminophen (Tylenol) is the only safe OTC pain reliever during pregnancy.

After about 28 weeks, most providers recommend paying attention to fetal movement patterns. Every baby has their own rhythm — some are gymnasts, some are gentle movers — but the key is consistency. A noticeable decrease from your baby's normal pattern of movement is a reason to call your provider.

The classic guidance is "kick counts": pick a time when the baby is usually active, lie on your side, and count how long it takes to feel 10 movements (kicks, rolls, jabs all count). Most babies hit 10 within 2 hours. If it takes longer, or if the pregnant person says "the baby hasn't moved much today," take it seriously.

What partners should do: encourage her to drink something cold and sweet, lie on her left side, and focus on movement for an hour. If there are fewer than 10 movements in 2 hours — or if she just feels something is off — call the provider or go to labor and delivery for monitoring. Don't wait until tomorrow.

Decreased fetal movement can indicate the baby is in distress due to umbilical cord problems, placental insufficiency, or other complications. In many cases, the baby is just sleeping and everything is fine. But the consequences of not checking when something is genuinely wrong far outweigh the inconvenience of an extra hospital visit. Trust her instincts — maternal perception of reduced movement is the earliest warning sign in many cases of stillbirth prevention.

A fever above 100.4°F (38°C) during pregnancy needs prompt medical attention. Fever itself can be harmful to the developing baby — particularly in the first trimester when sustained high body temperature has been associated with neural tube defects. Later in pregnancy, fever may be a sign of infection that could trigger preterm labor.

Common causes of fever in pregnancy include urinary tract infections (very common and can progress to kidney infections quickly in pregnancy), the flu or COVID-19, listeriosis or other food-borne illness, chorioamnionitis (infection of the amniotic fluid — a serious emergency), and other viral or bacterial infections.

What partners should do: take her temperature with an actual thermometer (not a hand on the forehead). If it's above 100.4°F, call the OB's office or go to urgent care. Give acetaminophen (Tylenol) for fever — it's safe in pregnancy. Do NOT give ibuprofen (Advil/Motrin) or aspirin, which are not recommended during pregnancy. Keep her hydrated and watch for additional red flags: chills, back pain (could indicate kidney infection), foul-smelling vaginal discharge, or contractions.

Flu and COVID vaccination during pregnancy are recommended by ACOG specifically because these infections carry higher risks during pregnancy. If she hasn't been vaccinated, it's worth discussing with her provider.

Perinatal mood disorders — including depression and anxiety during pregnancy, not just after birth — affect up to 1 in 5 pregnant women. Suicidal ideation is more common than most people realize: suicide is a leading cause of maternal death in the first year after pregnancy, and the risk can begin during pregnancy itself.

Warning signs that partners should watch for include withdrawing from activities she used to enjoy, persistent sadness or hopelessness lasting more than two weeks, expressing feelings of worthlessness or being a burden, talking about death, not wanting to be alive, or wishing she could "go to sleep and not wake up," giving away possessions, dramatic mood swings beyond normal pregnancy hormones, inability to sleep even when exhausted (or sleeping excessively), loss of interest in the pregnancy or the baby, and increased substance use.

What partners should do: if she expresses any thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take it seriously every single time. Don't minimize it ("it's just hormones") and don't panic. Stay calm, listen without judgment, and take action. Call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) for immediate guidance. The Postpartum Support International helpline (1-800-944-4773) also supports people during pregnancy. Contact her OB or midwife to report what's happening.

Perinatal depression is highly treatable. Therapy, medication (several antidepressants are safe in pregnancy), and support groups can make an enormous difference. Your role as a partner is to be the bridge between her and professional help.

Being prepared turns panic into action. Every partner should have these things ready by the third trimester — but ideally earlier.

On your phone: your OB/midwife's office number AND after-hours emergency line, the hospital's labor and delivery direct number (not the main switchboard), the address of the hospital where you're delivering (programmed into your GPS — you don't want to be typing it in an emergency), 911, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and Poison Control (1-800-222-1222).

In the car or by the door: the hospital bag (packed by 36 weeks), her insurance card and ID, a phone charger, and a printed copy of her birth plan and medication list.

Knowledge in your head: her blood type (especially if Rh-negative), any pregnancy complications or risk factors, her current medications and allergies, the name of her OB/midwife, and the five red flags from this article — severe headache with vision changes, heavy bleeding, decreased fetal movement, high fever, and thoughts of self-harm.

The most important thing a partner can bring to any emergency is calm, confident action. She may be scared, in pain, or unable to advocate for herself. You are her voice. Knowing what to watch for and how to respond is one of the most meaningful ways you can show up during pregnancy.